Showing posts with label UPA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UPA. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Commonwealth Games will Not be a Dud - a Prediction

Please do not think the above title is written sarcastically, or that what follows is some kind of satire. No, rather quite to the contrary, I write the following in earnest.

I have for quite some time been skeptical of motives and methods of those who work for the Indian media, especially the national media, which includes English dailies, magazines and English and Hindi news channels, and the web sites managed by them (to whose works I get exposed; my exposure of the regional media is very little). I have highlighted the reason for this utter lack of trust in many posts of mine (click on the individual links to view them; they will open in a new window/tab):

1. Why the Indian National Media appears Anti-Hindu

2. Fine balance between lack of creativity and its excess.

3. So many inconsistencies in news reporting of "two lady doctors killing a rape victim's baby in Raigad"!

4. These are not Diwali Firecrackers, please!

5. S.I.T. Back and Enjoy Pop-Corny NewsXXX

6. Spinning Yarns to Make Undies on TV

In last 3 to 4 months, the national media has come down heavily in its criticism of the Commonwealth Games, 2010 (click) to be held in Delhi. The media has been able to convince vast majority of people that the games are going to be a dud, that many things are going to fall at the games venue, people will get injured and that large-scale mismanagement would become manifest. In fact, many have enthusiastically declared the event as "national shame" quite in advance. I have gathered that the impression among most Indians I get to interact with is that after the games get over, India would become a laughing stock in the world owing to its inability to organize events at such large scale. Of course, all that is apart from the many allegations and a some circumstantial evidence of corruption. But I am contending that except for the allegations of corruption, rest all will be proved untrue, meaning, in all likelihood, after the games are over, lot of Indians would be left with a feeling of wonder as they would be awe-struck by the grandeur and meticulousness of planning.

So, this begs the question, why the media had chosen to pursue the Games the way they did? Allegations had been flowing thick and fast, especially that of corruption with random figures thrown around as the "estimate" of the scale of corruption - from Rs. 20,000 crore to Rs. 70,000 crore. Of course, just like all other figures that media throws up, these must be attributed to some "sources", who would be well, "noted" or "eminent" or "well-placed" or "inside", etc.

Now, assuming my contention that games would not be a grand failure as anticipated by, and projected by the media, then what was the motive behind media's projecting things thus? What all purposes did it serve?

Of course, one might contend that the media acting in good faith, was only bringing to light all the corruption involved ("waterproof" umbrella, exotic tissue, etc). But good faith would have involved merely highlighting the issues related to corruption, not the other things which would convince people that the games' execution is going to be pathetic. Moreover, good faith would have also entailed providing some reasonable support for their estimate of the scale of corruption involved.

My following analysis largely draws from a comment I had posted on Atanu Dey's blog post - The Games Built on a Cesspool (click). My premise (outlined in the blog post - 'Why the Indian National Media appears Anti-Hindu' liked above) is that the national media works in a fashion that largely benefits the Nehru-Gandhi family (and not necessarily the Congress Party as some might believe; the difference is subtle, but not something very difficult to appreciate). Though we all are reacting violently in public fora at this sort of alleged corruption, Indians are actually subconsciously quite alright with corruption. We have come to terms with corruption in every walk of our life, and we also know that the larger the scale of an event, greater would be the corruption. What hardly matters to common people is the scale of corruption as very few can actually appreciate the impact a certain amount of money siphoned off could have on the nation's economy or infrastructure. To give an example very few people actually work out in their minds, that with certain amount of money alleged to be involved in corruption, how many hospitals, schools, bridges, etc. could have been built. But what matters more is the area in which corruption is alleged – so corruption in ‘games’ is quite alright, but not in defense deals [Bangaru Laxman and Jaya Jaitley had received much flak, despite virtually zero-evidence and for a much paltry sum, perhaps because it was associated with 'defense' - on which lives of so many people depend], education schemes, medical care, religious organizations, etc. But what amuses me is that figures of corruption in organization of CWG of various kinds are being floated around, with almost no evidence, and that nobody is asking for any evidence! It has become a fair game to make a guess of scale of corruption and throw around numbers, just like the number of dead Muslims in Gujarat riots of 2002. Any random figure supported with right kind of rhetoric to support it would be bought as 'true'!

a. So how does this help the Nehru-Gandhi family?

1. It appears that Kalmadi might have not been the first choice of the family for CWG organization but they could not prevent his heading the body, or perhaps he must have not been paying his haftaa – protection money, on which I had done a song parody (click). The mounting media pressure is a way to make him pay up. They (Nehru-Gandhi family) are using similar tactic against A. Raja [someone had pointed out that despite some of the most important ministries that Congress has, the most profiting ones like the Railways and Telecommunications are not with them, so they desperately want them, and this media pressure is again an attempt towards that].

2. The apparently incidental, but perhaps, the true target of this attack is Sheila Dikshit (click). I had the opportunity to live in Delhi for around 10 months, and I thought her governance is good [in that how much Delhi had improved over last decade - both in terms of infrastructure and one vital area, viz., crime control]. Of course I am not taking into consideration the amount of inflow of funds. But whatever be the case, she is one of the very few leaders in the Congress stable who does not live in the shadows of the family. Meaning, whether it be her criticism or praise, she has been seen as independent by many. I had heard of some instance of ‘rebellion’ by few Congress politicians against her a few years back, and someone had pointed out that it was engineered by the Gandhi family to weaken her position within the party. Of course that was also a conjecture, but I could see that pattern in many of the family’s and media’s actions [I am also aware of the flaw of this manner of thinking - I can go on citing incidents that seem to support my speculation, with disregard for other incidents that contradict it, but let me proceed with that technique]. And of course, the Gandhi family’s larger challenge, if one sees carefully, is not so much to keep the BJP and other parties out of power, but to keep others in the Congress itself from usurping their position! It would be naive to believe that all other Congress politicians are taken in by the fair skin of the Gandhis, and that they are bereft of any political ambition. But the fact that the supremacy of the family in the party is still unchallenged to this unimaginable degree only points to the possibility that something in working of the Congress party must make it excessively unyielding to show any ambition, or perhaps in some way, even perilous [three young and (electorally) 'promising' Congress leaders had died in the last decade in freak accidents]. Sheila Dikshit’s son is also a member of Parliament – another reason to be sure to keep her position weak.

b. Apart from the above factors, the ways in which this coverage is helping the media and the family is:

1. Distracting people from other events of greater gravity – hoisting of Pakistani flag in Kashmir, riots in Deganga in West Bengal (in which the ‘Pioneer’ reports that one or more persons had died), an unconfirmed burning of Shiva Temple in Kashmir (and the usual – rising food prices, farmer suicides, etc.). The treachery of Man Mohan Singh in the Nuclear Liability Bill is again something the CWG coverage had helped push largely under the carpet. Has anyone wondered, what degree of cheapness it was to have inserted “and” and “intent” as caveats in the bill? I am not going into the practical aspects of the deal (e.g., if having stringent criteria would make the deal so scary for the suppliers that they will decline to do business). Here was an incident, where despite the high amount of scrutiny, and possibly very grave eventual consequences, the Congress Party tried to hoodwink the entire nation! And what is interesting is that in response to the accusation of our prime minister being a puppet of the family, one of the shining examples of his independence that is advanced is his personal involvement in the Indian nuclear deal program!!! Compared to him, Shashi Tharoor surely got a very raw deal, whereas Dr. Singh escaped unscathed as a ‘clean’ politician despite much larger stakes. Neat, no? Why? Simply because, all along the prime example of corruption and deception that people will think of for quite some time to come will be Kalmaidi of the CWG infamy!

2. Using this as an instance, the media can always claim – “See, we critique the Congress also”! But what works here is the apparent lack of proximity of Kalmadi with the Gandhis, and also the fact that majority are going to think in terms of “games toh aakhir games hi hote hain” [Games are after all just that - games!]. So despite its extremely vicious coverage, the impression formed about the CWG does not make the family at all look bad as compared to say Babri demolition and the death of Muslims in Gujarat riots [Look carefully, on TV news, besides every allegation of corruption or broken tile or fallen bridge, the portrait would be of Kalmadi, and not someone from the family].


c. But, what will the media say after the games are over and (if) they are proved wrong with regard to grand failure of the games that they had been predicting for quite some time?

Nothing much! They will still continue to point out minor flaws of the games for a few days to come, or even start praising the game as if nothing had happened! Moreover, very few people will wonder why the CWG’s success would have proved them and the media wrong! Of course, few people might go into denial as to how come their confidence that the CWG would fail miserably could have been misplaced. But in the entire occurrence, almost no one would pause to wonder as to how come they were misled so convincingly by the media about the CWG's imminent failure, simply because, “games toh aakhir games hi hote hain” and the media would anyway start distracting their patrons with other such trivialities!

Of course, my entire analysis depends on CWG’s moderate to spectacular success, so unlike, Mani Shankar Ayyer, I am praying desperately for their success! ;) To hell with nation’s welfare and atheism! :P

The reason I decided to put up a prediction instead of doing a post-games analysis is to serve my narcissism. If my prediction proves correct, I could gloat - "see, I understand the media so well, all my conspiracy theories with regard to how media works are correct, etc, etc", but of course my theories also stand a chance of being proved wrong, in which I would have to eat a humble pie and throw a shoe at...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Why the Indian National Media appears Anti-Hindu

I had conceived the following post in response to a question posed by Bhagwad Jal Park in the comments section of his post - Quran Burning – A book is not a person (click).

I reproduce the pertinent portion of his question here:

"As far as the media goes, I'd like to dig a little deeper. If you say that they're biased (and I'm not sure one way or the other about this), why are they biased? Is it because (as a lot of right winger claim) there is a conspiracy between the government, media etc to put Hindus down, or is it because of sheer incompetence, or because people don't want to hear anything else, or some other reason?"

It has been my policy to carry forward these kind of discussions in my other blog - 'Freewheeling Discussions (Personal)', but as this was something I was anyway planning to blog on and also because understanding what follows would not require knowing a background context, I decide to post this here as an independent blog post.

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Despite being an atheist, being not at all a fan of the fuzzy concept of 'Hindutva', not finding anything wrong with Sonia Gandhi's being born in Italy, and nor being the one who would want India to 'rule the world' as a superpower, I have always felt that the national media appears to be partial towards what it terms the 'minorities' (which largely includes the Muslims, the Christians and the 'lower' castes) and has an anti-BJP bent. The latter, some people perceive as their being anti-Hindu. This partiality towards Muslims comes in form of making them look victimized more than they would otherwise be, and also trying to cover up, in the process, their harms done to the Hindus. But I have realized that this perception of media bias is seen as "right wing paranoia" by those who seem to share other beliefs (or non-beliefs) with me - atheism, finding Hindutva silly, etc. A fine specimen of use of this nomenclature could be found here - The Spectacular Achievements of Right Wing Propaganda......... (click).

Though since long I have found a palpable bias in the national media (in favor of minorities, which might make it look like anti-Hindu, but need not really be that way), I have not been able to conclude a firm driving force behind such bias.

I will lay down mere speculations for what could be the reasons (and I am sure that they would sound as silly to many as what "lot of other right-wingers say", but then anyway let me put across my points) [whatever points I make here are applicable largely to the national media, and not necessarily the local media, which have their own individual biases depending what incentives they have and their political affiliations; it should not come as a surprise that media has so much power to influence that many south Indian news channels are 'openly' owned by politicians]:

1. The essential struggle for control over media is not so much between the Hindus and other communities, but is between the Nehru-Gandhi family v/s politicians from the Congress and other parties. So, you will see that even minor good things that the two prominent members of this family do, would be highlighted, whereas any of their failures would be attributed to the respective ministries. Hence, primarily the prominent media houses work against the rivals of the Nehru Gandhi family, be it from the Congress party or some other.

Examples:

a. Sonia Gandhi has never been interviewed on occasion of any Maoist attack or other collective failures of the government (e.g., rising food prices), but her interview had been broadcast with Barkha Dutt even when the Women's reservation bill was just passed in the Rajya Sabha [it is yet to be passed as a law, so what was the celebration about?].

b. The media house that has done the greatest damage to the repute of rivals of the NG-family has as editor, Tarun Tejpal, who had this - Mrs Gandhi And Her Extra God (click) - to say. Apart from an element of fawning, there is clear indication of desire to bring in religion in matters of administration, when one would assume that politics and winning election are not about such silly things as what the attributes of certain deities are.

c. The manner in which Rahul Gandhi's trip to Mumbai in wake of Shiv Sena threat to Shahrukh Khan was covered by national news channels. One of the motives could be cheap sensationalism, but I have not noticed any other politician getting that kind of coverage when the fact is many prominent politicians keep on moving in and out of Mumbai. Even his symbolism/gimmickry (you choose) of withdrawing money from an ATM was covered with much enthusiasm. Contrast that with Narendra Modi, who, in Pune (a city in Maharashtra, largely filled with Maharashtrians) had asked as to why despite having a Maharashtrian president would the people of Maharashtra want a Maharashtrian prime minister. That was a more daring and sensible thing to say than what Rahul Gandhi had done, but hardly any TV network had covered the latter. The news had perhaps appeared in the Indian Express, but I am unable to find the link. Will update when I am able to find it.

d. The manner in which all the major news channels had floated around the news that the SIT had 'summoned' Narendra Modi in context of March 21. And then when he did not turn up at the SIT office on that day (as it was a Sunday and as basically no such summon had been issued) he was trounced by the news channels accusing him of being arrogant enough to not respect the 'summons' of a body instituted by the SC. Later it was revealed that the SIT, being a non-judicial body, did not even have the authority to issue 'summons' (which would have to be issued under some Criminal Procedures Code - CrPC, I don't remember the exact section, perhaps, 62). My understanding is that firstly no such date was determined, yet the TV crew outside the Gandhinagar SIT office had shouted into their mics that Modi had defied the SC and some had gone on to say that he was afraid, as he was guilty. And secondly it appears that, later he had been interrogated as (an expert) witness as he was the CM at the time of riots, and not as an accused - an impression which the media had given. I have two options to choose from to explain this kind of lapse by all major news channels - either it was sheer carelessness or that it was a concerted attempt to malign Modi. Considering the fact that major news channels (NDTV 24x7, TimesNOW, News X, CNN-IBN) had done the same, it is difficult that all of them would have been careless at the same time over exactly the same issue. So, to me the second option seems lot more plausible.

2. Funding from several sources. This might sound the most laughable, but again it is a mere speculation and much weaker than the above explanation. The reason I think so, is because there are innumerable news channels in India, and unlike entertainment channels which can cater to widely disparate kinds of tastes by having completely different programming, news channels show essentially the same news. So, my belief is the 'number of eye balls' must be getting significantly divided among all the news channels. In light of this fact, how attractive do the advertisers find news channels? I again assume, not much. In face of which what sustains the news channels? I am not a finances person, but I had learned that NDTV had posted losses in more than one financial quarters. Yet, the cosmetic quality of their presentation has not significantly deteriorated. I posit that keeping employed cameramen, reporters, drivers, news anchors, paying guests for appearances, and all of this in multiple cities and towns must be too expensive an affair. Other than advertising, what incentive do the owners have to keep the channels running? How do they get monetarily compensated? So, perhaps they get foreign funding to insert PoV and to distort news. Of course, this funding could be, but need not be foreign, it could come from several sources within India too. Some could be political parties, movie celebrities, industrialists, etc.

Example: Mass media: masses of money? (click)

3. Creating sensationalism. One thing the media does is to present story in a very partisan manner. It need not be because of some kind of institutional bias, but simply to make the stories sensationalist. Owing to competition, it becomes imperative that the patrons are hooked to the news. This requires that in any story, an easy-to-recognize 'good' and 'evil' are presented so that people are not bogged down by dry facts. Moreover, the advantage of this approach is that most people would like to identify with the 'good' in the story, demonizing the 'bad' in the process. It has to be remembered that news media, apart from competing with each other are also competing with entertainment channels, FM radio, networking sites, etc. If the patrons do not feel an emotional connect with the story, they would stop following news, which would further harm them financially. So by meddling with facts, the media manage to create a pure evil v/s good aspects in their story.

Examples:

a. So many inconsistencies in news reporting of "two lady doctors killing a rape victim's baby in Raigad"! (click) - a post from my blog dissecting how it is possible to dish out news shoddily and yet make majority of people fall for it (you would be amazed on counting the number of comments and reading their content on the ToI article).

b. These are not Diwali Firecrackers, please! (click) - another post from my blog, where I point out that important issues like success of Pokhran tests were discussed like gossip magazines would, without providing a shred of evidence. My suspicion is, again only to create sensationalism. To gain further clarity on the issue, please do read my responses to Stupidosaur.

c. The Nirupama Pathak case. Even before the autopsy results were announced, her mother had been implicated and made a villain in the entire saga by the media. One of the police officers of Koderma district was shown giving impressive interviews. Along with all this, her boyfriend, who had got her pregnant (of course, guessing that it was not a case of rape but consensual sex) was being shown as some kind of hero. Then, suddenly it was revealed next day that her boyfriend had also been questioned as a suspect. A few days later the news came that the pillow cover (on which saliva stains would remain as it was a suspected case of smothering) and bedsheets had not been inspected. Later it was revealed that the AIIMS, Delhi faculty had felt that the autopsy had been conducted in a very shoddy fashion. Contrast this with the fact that immediately in the aftermath of Nirupama's death, her friends and teacher had been interviewed, who had made stupid statements to the tune of "she was a strong girl, she could not have committed suicide (so must have been killed by the parents - a very grave insinuation)". I don't remember the exact details, but is seems the media had bungled up big-time. So, now there are no follow up news to the best of my knowledge on this. But the reputation of an entire family was tarnished. It was definitely unprofessional and shoddy. There might have not been a larger ulterior motive, but the attempt to spice up the story ("how could parents kill the daughter"-kind) was definitely there despite the lack of evidence to conclude the same.

4. A reason speculated (click) by Atanu Dey:

"If a journalist writing in English wants to be quoted by foreign publications, then he or she has to appeal to the biases of the foreigners and reinforce their prejudices. Otherwise, the foreign press would not touch it. The more shrill a journalist is in denouncing anything that remotely hints at Indian ethos, culture, or pride, the more likely he or she is to get invited to give talks at US universities and other goodies. The term for this phenomenon is "being a house nigger.""

Of course, I might be questioned as to "how I would be sure that the foreign media would want to hear bad things about India?", but remember, this is just one of the speculated reasons for the manner in which some of the journalists behave.

But till now I have, at best, only demonstrated that there the media resorts to sensationalism, unethical behavior and perhaps institutional bias. But I have yet not addressed why it might seem anti-Hindu.

As I pointed out in point 1 above, it caters to the Nehru-Gandhi family, for the simple reason that it has the deepest pockets of all the political entities with pan-India presence. Meaning, even some of the other South Indian politicians might also have as much or deeper pockets, but at least as of now they do not have any need to have opinion modified at a national level.

So, why would the Congress want to make seem Hindus bad?

I think the Congress does not have any incentive for making Hindus look bad. This looking bad of Hindus is merely incidental. For this the demographics and the resulting constituencies of India are to be considered. Muslims, it is said, tend to vote en bloc. To ensure this they have to be constantly fed with the idea that they are being persecuted and discriminated against (this is partly true also that certain fraction of Hindus discriminate against them, and so do people from other religions, but this discrimination is not Muslim-specific, but an outcome of bigotry that birth-related affiliations result in). But to ensure that they vote en bloc for the Congress and not some other party, the only viable option to vote for has to be demonized. That viable option happens to be the BJP. But how can a BJP government directly go and harm the Muslims? So, it has to be shown as shielding those wanting to hurt Muslims. Of course, in terms of endearing itself to the Muslim constituency, the BJP had hurt its prospects by associating with or perhaps even bringing up the Ram Temple-issue. So, in the process it also needs to be shown there exist sizable number of Hindus who are "out there to get the Muslims". This is what incidentally (and not as a matter of primary intention) makes the Hindus look 'bad'. It should not be surprising then that all the major communalist riots seem to be happening only in the BJP-ruled states (Gujarat & Kandhamal), but none seem to be happening in non-BJP ruled states (Bareilly in Uttar Pradesh, Miraj in Maharashtra). But obviously, one has to also create an impression that the BJP & some affiliated bodies, like the RSS and the VHP actively support this violence. How can this impression be created? By projecting riots between Hindus and some other community to be selective persecution of the 'minority'. This impression can again be only created by largely omitting the violence committed against the Hindus. This, I believe, is the reason that the deaths of around 200 Hindus that had occurred in post-Godhra riots in Gujarat are hardly given any coverage. Because, if once that part is also given the prominence it deserves, then people will start questioning the theory that "the BJP and Narendra Modi had organized a pogrom against Muslims", for surely, 200 Hindus would not be killed by the people who also killed Muslims.

Now, apply the same approach with regard to perceived persecution of other minorities, and the impression we are bound to get is one of BJP and associated organizations being anti-Muslim and anti-'lower caste'.

But why does the Congress instead not try to appeal to all the Hindus, instead of trying to appeal to the minorities? After all the Hindus are the 80% of the population!

Traditionally, the Congress has been perceived to be secular/pro-Muslim, and they cannot change that image overnight. Because it would be risky to lose 20% of 'sure-shot' voter share [because Muslims tend to vote en bloc]. But on the other hand, Hindus are fragmented. To make them rally around one party as one constituency is very difficult. The rivalries between various castes and sub-castes of the Hindu community are so deep that they are almost as strong as the Hindu-Muslim rivalry. The BJP had, perhaps, with some success been able to unite the Hindu constituency and that is why it came to power earlier (or perhaps, Indians could also have been frustrated with the Congress rule). Simply because Congress' formula is tried and tested, they are reluctant to try new tactics. But in the 1990's the BJP were the underdogs, they had nothing to lose by trying to unite the Hindus into one single constituency, and somehow they partly succeeded (and could form the government). Because had they tried the same Congress formula of cozying up to the 'minorities', then why would the voter instead not vote for the 'original' (Congress), instead!

Of course, my entire analysis above is like the 'Strings theory' - it might make intuitive sense, but I have no way to prove it empirically/statistically. But I continue to go by it simply, because no other single hypotheses in isolation can explain the aberrant behavior of the media in the instances I cited above.

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To summarize: I hope I have been able to accomplish/show the following (not necessarily to everyone's conviction):

1. Cite instances of unprofessional/biased conduct by the media.

2. Enumerate and somewhat explain the motives and incentives behind the same.

3. That the Congress benefits from current anti-BJP bent of the media (and hence, perhaps provides the much needed incentive for the media to remain thus).

4. In the process of being anti-BJP, the media ends up demonizing Hindus in the eyes of the minorities and also many Hindus themselves.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Song Parody: 1 - Duniya mein logon ko

This is after real long that I am parodizing an entire Hindi song. Hope, you enjoy!

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To be sung to the tune of 'Duniya mein logon ko'. Original lyrics are in green, and parodied ones are in orange. Also, lyrics have been phonetically rendered in Roman script for those browsers that might not render the Devanagari script.

Watch on YouTube (click)


RD: | K'Ma D:

बीरा... | छीना...
टरा टरा टरा, परा परा परा | बड़ा बड़ा बड़ा, मारा मारा मारा
टराटराटराटरा तरारू | देश का pocket मारामारामारा मारुरुरु


दुनिया में, logon को | Commonwealth में, ऐसे तो
धोखा कभी हो जाता है | एक-आध खोखा* यूँही खो जाता है

आँखों ही, आँखों में | लाखों ही, लाखों में
यारों का दिल खो जाता है | प्यारों का bill pay हो जाता है


Asha: | Money-aa:

दुनिया में... | Commonwealth में...


RD: | K'Ma D:

दुनिया में... | Commonwealth में...


Asha: | Money-aa:

(नागिन सी मेरी चाल, रखना दिल का ख़याल | (Maoमाता का अड्डा बंगाल, रखती Maoists का ख़याल
मेरे दीवानों का, हो जाता है यह हाल) -2 | Media से कह के मैंने, उठवा दिया games का सवाल) -2

बीड़ा, बीड़ा, बड़ा बड़ा | चीरा, चीरा, फाड़ा, फाड़ा
टरा टरा टरा, तुरु तुरु तुरु, तुरु, तुरु तुरु तुरु तुरु रु | मारा मारा मारा, देश का pocket मारा मारा मारा, मारा मारा मारुरुरु


जागी मैं, सारी रैन | Games में, मैं हैरान
सारा जहां सो जाता है | पैसा कहाँ खो जाता है
आँखों ही, आँखों में | लाखों ही, लाखों में
यारों का दिल खो जाता है | मेरा कुछ नहीं हो पाता है


R D: | K'Ma D:

(कहती है यह नज़र, कब क्या हो क्या खबर | (Official तो है figure, पर अन्दर की उन्हें क्या खबर
दुनिया में चंद लोग, होते हैं जादूगर) -2 | Money-aa ma'am को ठगकर, हूँ तो मैं बेफिक़र) -2

बीड़ा, बीड़ा, बड़ा बड़ा | चीरा, चीरा, फाड़ा, फाड़ा
टरा टरा टरा, तुरु तुरु तुरु, तुरु, तुरु तुरु तुरु तुरु रु | मारा मारा मारा, देश का pocket मारा मारा मारा, मारा मारा मारुरुरु


Asha: | Money-aa:

सुनिए जी, उन पे भी | भ्रष्ट-एष जी, मुझ को तो
जादू कभी हो जाता है | आप पे भी शक हो जाता है
आँखों ही, आँखों में | लाखों ही, लाखों में
यारों का दिल खो जाता है | मेरा कुछ नहीं हो पाता है


R D: | K'Ma D:

(पिंजरे में चलके आप, आ जाता है शिकार | (ऐसा न कहिये आप, करूंगा आप को भी मालामाल

Asha: | Money-aa:

कातिल पे भी कभी, आ जाता है प्यार) -2 | चमचे भी करते कभी, हैं चालाकी की मजाल) -2

बीड़ा, बीड़ा, बड़ा बड़ा | चीरा, चीरा, फाड़ा, फाड़ा
टरा टरा टरा, तुरु तुरु तुरु, तुरु, तुरु तुरु तुरु तुरु रु | मारा मारा मारा, देश का pocket मारा मारा मारा, मारा मारा मारुरुरु

बातों ही, बातों में | अकेले में, खाने से
होना है जो हो हाता है | चमचा Tharoored हो जाता है
आँखों ही, आँखों में | देखते ही, देखते में
यारों का दिल खो जाता है | CBI पीछे पड जाता है *wink* *wink*


Asha: | Money-aa:

दुनिया में... | Commonwealth में...


---


RD: | K'Ma D:


beeraa... | Chheena...
tara tara taraa, para para para | badaa badaa badaa, maara maara maara
taraataraataraatara taraaru | desh ka pocket maaramaaramaara maarururu


duniya mein, logon ko | Commonwealth mein, aise toh
dhokha kabhi ho jaata hai | Ek-aadh khokha yunhi kho jaata hai

aankhon hi, aankhon mein | laakhon hi, laakhon mein
yaaron ka dil kho jaata hai | Pyaaron ka bill pay ho jaata hai


Ashaa: | Money-aa:

duniya mein ... | Commonwealth mein...


RD: | K'Ma D:

duniya mein ... | Commonwealth mein...


Asha: | Money-aa:

(naagin si meri chaal, rakhana dil ka khayaal | (MaoMaata ka adda Bangal, rakhati Maoists ka khayaal
mere deevaanon kaa, ho jaata hai ye haal) -2 | Media se kah ke maine, uthawa diya games ka sawaal) -2

beedaa, beedaa, baayaraa, baayara | cheera, cheera, phaada, phaada
taraatara taraa, turu turu turu, turu turu turu turu turu ru | maara maara maara, desh ka pocket maara maara maara, maara maara maarururu


jaagi main, saari rain | Games mein, main hairaan
saara jahaan so jata hai | paisa kahaan kho jaata hai
aankhon hee, aankhon mein | laakhon hi, laakhon mein
yaaron ka dil kho jaata hai | mera kucch nahin ho paata hai


R D: | K'Ma D:

(kahati hai ye nazar, kab kya ho kya khabar] | (Official toh hai figure, par andar ki unhein kya khabar

duniya mein chand log, hote hain jaadugar) -2 | Money-aa ma'am ko thugkar, hoon toh main befiqar) -2
beedaa, beedaa, baayaraa, baayara | cheera, cheera, phaada, phaada
taraatara taraa, turu turu turu, turu turu turu turu turu ru | maara maara maara, desh ka pocket maara maara maara, maara maara maarururu


Asha: | Money-aa:

suniye jee, un pe bhi | Bhrasthesh ji, mujh ko toh
jaadu kabhi ho jaata hai | aap pe bhi shaq ho jaata hai
aankhon hee, aankhon mein | laakhon hi, laakhon mein
yaaron ka dil kho jaata hai | mera kuchh nahin ho paat hai


R D: | K'Ma D:

(pinjare mein chalake aap, a jaata hai shikaar] | (aisa na kahiye aap, karoonga aap ko bhi maalamaal

Asha: | Money-aa:

qaatil pe bhi kabhee, a jaata hai yoon pyaar) -2 | chamche bhi karate kabhi, hain chaalaki ki majaal) -2

beedaa, beedaa, baayaraa, baayara] | cheera, cheera, phaada, phaada
taraatara taraa, turu turu turu, turu turu turu turu turu ru | maara maara maara, desh ka pocket maara maara maara, maara maara maarururu

baaton hi, baaton mein] | akele mein, khaane se
hona hai jo ho jaata hai] | chamchaa Tharoored ho jaata hai
aankhon hee, aankhon mein] | Dekhte hi, dekhte mein
yaaron ka dil kho jaata hai] | CBI peeche pad jaata hai *wink* *wink*


Asha: | Money-aa:

duniya mein ... | Commonwealth mein...


*खोखा = Rs. 1 crore in colloquial Hindi.

-----

Lyrics courtesy: Bollywood hungama (click)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Jokers are Mortal; Jokes, Eternal. But Jokers can reincarnate! ;)

LOL @ Rangnath Commission recommends 10% quota for Muslims (click)

ROFL @ "It added that in case of non-availability of Muslims to fill the 10% earmarked seats, these may be made available to other minorities but in "no case" shall any seat within the recommended 15% shall be given to anybody from the majority community."

An exclusive bout of laughter specially @ "majority community". Wow! How lovely and loving the whole thing sounds!! I'm simply mesmerized by the love flowing for me, in the hearts of those running this nation.

ROFLMAO @ "Unity in diversity"

I wish our secular and guardian-of-equality government did not come up with these kind of jokes that make me laugh so uncontrollably. You know, so much laughing can hurt sometimes.

Ouch! I forgot, these are 'practical' jokes, and not meant for laughing. But then, WTF! LOL!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

BJP's Rally against Price Rise Makes Dent - on Twitter!

Tweaked from #PriceRiseRally tweets:

1. Bhishma Pitamah at #PriceRiseRally: Khud ka pet nahin paal sakta, biwi-bachchon ka kya hoga! Main brahmacharya ki shapath leta hoon

2. Buffalo at #PriceRiseRally eats up dice thrown by Shakuni after wrongly hearing "chaar" as "chaara". Denies its name is Lalu

3. Ms. Roy at #PriceRiseRally scratches private parts vigorously. Thinks of lice in Dantewada jungle: "Bloody *internal* security threats!"

4. Duhshasan indecisive at #PriceRiseRally as Draupadi didn't wear saree as a cost-cutting measure

5. Ahmadinejad bans #PriceRiseRally, then retracts on learning the rally is being held in India (via @bharkadatta)

6. Ahmadinejad while parting from #PriceRiseRally: Holocaust & price rise are same things & they never really happened

7. Ahmadinejad rephrases #PriceRiseRally statement: HollowCost & price rise are same things & they never really happened

8. Michelangelo plans sequel to 'Fall of Man' - 'Rise of Price'; joins #PriceRiseRally for inspiration. Promises to show Katie Price & protestors fully clothed

9. Voyeuristic Katie Price fans at #PriceRiseRally hope to have some upskirt fun when Price is raised

10. MMS in face of #PriceRiseRally didn't let Katie Price sleep the whole night citing "Early to bed, early to rise". Doesn't reveal how he kept her awake

11. Media stays away from #PriceRiseRally. "We only cover matters of *gravity*. Nothing that 'rises' is important"

12. Protestor 'Tara Singh' faints in the #PriceRiseRally. Aamir to make a movie - Tara Zameen Par

13. Sheila Dixit points to south Indian movie artists in #PriceRiseRally in Delhi: See, those are nonstate actors!

14. Pickpockets join #PriceRiseRally. On further query, holding wallets in their hand just say, "SurPrice!"

15. AnDy Tiwari joins #PriceRiseRally to pep up his sex life. Reveals he renamed his Rambo to 'Price'

16. Mulayam at #PriceRiseRally whistles at ladies from decent families. Defends: I was just being a whistle blower

17. Pak president Zardari joins #PriceRiseRally, says he has nothing much to do back home (via @bharkadatta)

18. Mayawati at #PriceRiseRally: My cash garland isn't worth much now, thanks to inflation. Hence joined the protests (via @bharkadatta)

19. Genelia D'souza at #PriceRiseRally says she's here to try out her new sunscreen lotion! (via @bharkadatta)

Updates from my new Blog

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