"Salvati, 44, who owns a home remodeling business and sends free wooden paddles to parents across the country, said he's just doing what God asked him to do four years ago."
Now, believers of divine revelations, buy (click) that shit. Oops, I mean buy that paddle! ;) 'Cuz, God said so. :)
By the way, it is not Uncyclopedia that I am linking to. Can't really help it if God's sense of humor is, well, funny!