Sunday, July 19, 2009

Educational post

Smart Kid: Please gimme first rank this time at least!

Smart God: I can't. Others are also asking for the same thing!

SK: That's unfair! I come just second everytime. :(

SG: Calculate area under the curve of what everyone gets in their lives against time, and you'll know, I'm very fair.

SK: I don't know anything! You can give me first rank this time, and third the next.

SG: No one teaches me how to run the Universe, okay?

SK: [Hoonn; turns away from God, a la--'Tu tu, main main']. I'm gonna stop believing in you. I'm turning atheist.

SG: [Hoonn] Shoo! Go away! I don't care. I'm turning a Deist God. [Yawns with boredom]

Meanwhile, later at a school function...

"This year's first prize for scoring the highest marks in class 4 goes to SK!"

Behind the scenes...

[SG frantically fidgets with buttons of a remote]

"Gosh! SK's getting that prize and these darned buttons! They'd to stop functioning just now! [Sigh] I should've stuck with the regular remote with warranty, not this cheap Chinese-made thing! Just wait you cheaters, I'll teach you a lesson!"

[SG's stubby angry finger lands on the Tsunami button directing the remote at China]

Hurricane Hillary hits the East coast of the U.S.!

SG: [Sigh]

------------

Moral of the story: Of course people, you know it! Buy only good-quality electronic gadgets with warranty, bill and an ISI mark*!

Above advertisement issued in Public Interest by the Government of Idiotia

*ISI mark--'Seal of trust' put by the Bureau of Indian Standards on products tested by them.

50 comments:

  1. Hehehe...
    good remote control yea..
    Good for Smart Kid though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And even better for China and the U.S. err Hillary. Good, they weren't it by Hurricane Sarah at least. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol,I thought the moral was...

    Even God is err... Human?

    ReplyDelete
  4. TJ,

    Be careful about what you wish! The area under the curve-thing means if you get the first rank now, you might not get a good PG seat. Still worse, you get a good PG seat, but a sinister guide, still still worse, you get all you ever wanted and still want more... :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rakesh, the silly thing you're trying to suggest is not moral, it's immoral! How could I ever mean that?

    See, it's not Gods problem if his/her remote doesn't work on occasions.

    How else does one explain a few err somewhat undesirable things happening in the world.

    And just remember that Golden rule: To err is human; to forgive is divine

    And no, moral of story still remains the same. Try buying cheap Chinese-made duplicate remote to control oil-production in the world and you'll see what I mean.

    BTW, Psst... I'm planning to open my own electronics company after maligning those Chinese manufacturers. ;) I'll offer you partnership if you don't reveal this plan to others. ;)

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn't get it.
    About the don't-buy-cheap=chinese-products, yes.

    But not the atheist part. How does SK get the first rank if God decided to be fair?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Srishti,

    First, you'll have to be broadminded enough to not feel offended at this post. Basically, it's a joke, and do keep in mind, I'm an atheist.

    God is under mistaken belief that SK gets the second rank only because of his generosity.

    Deism (in reference to 'Deist God') is the belief that God only created the Universe and the laws of nature, and left it at that, and that does not actively interfere in the daily affairs of the World, including answering people's prayers. So according to Deists, praying to God does not make any difference.

    So in this case, the God feels lazy and decides to stop interfering with the Universe after an argument with SK.

    But a few days later when he realizes that because of his noninterference, SK was going to get the prize for securing the first rank, his ego gets hurt, so he gets alarmed and tries to interfere with the school function. But then his remote doesn't work because it is inferior-quality Chinese-made one. :)

    I think you must have understood the rest. But if not, you can ask me what you didn't understand.

    Thanks for reading!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Also, area under the curve is a mathematical concept.

    If on the 'y' axis you plot 'speed' and on 'x' axis if you plot time, then the area under the graph that you'll get will give you the product of the two (i.e., speed an time), which would be the distance covered in this case. So basically, God's trying to tell the kid, that over one's lifetime, everyone on-an-average gets the same things in life--sometimes happy things happen, sometimes sad. And that's why SK suggests that he be given first and third ranks (average=2) rather than second rank twice (again, average=2). The concept is just like this: you can reach a place by traveling fast and then slow in as much time as traveling at an intermediate speed constantly.

    Hope this also helped. TC.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ohh...now I get it. Well, I think God shouldn't interrupt in the daily activities.Except maybe occasionally, for a miracle here and there ;)
    And obviously, you're an atheist so you'd be ready to argue =D
    Fire away.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Srishti-ji, are you trying to teach God how to run the Universe? :P

    Irrespective of who I am, if I fire away too much, I'd be extinguished. :(

    On a serious note, yes, I do find it unfortunate to see people believe in God, but I don't argue with just about anyone. I try to gauge first how much have they thought on the issue, firstly. And since this is an emotionally sensitive issue for the most, I don't broach it much in at least face-to-face conversations.

    Likewise, even online, I don't put up a point against God's existence unless and until someone puts up a point in favor of God's existence first. :)

    If you feel you're emotionally prepared for answers to this question, I'd recommend your reading the book--'The Necessity of Atheism'. The link to the book is in the sidebar of my blog under the heading 'influences', and you can download it free and legally, and read it on your PC as well as cell phone. It can take anywhere between 8 to 12 hours for you to read depending upon your reading speed and how much time you spend gasping. ;) That'd give you a good idea of somewhat mature arguments against God's existence, but more important will greatly improve your GK with regard to mankind, historical events, human psychology, etc. Remember, I'd turned atheist sometime in my 12th class, long before reading the above book. Just that the above book was extremely impressive for the way it was written.

    After that we can have a session of arguments. :)

    Thanks!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks Quirky Indian for acknowledging the smartness of my Smart God!

    Remember the capital G in my God.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is the first remote I heard of that has other effects. Remotes usually work fine or they don't work at all. I'm no longer updated with the current technologies.

    ReplyDelete
  13. wow.

    then I think I'll ask to win the lottery or something!

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Truth and Lies: How many cheap-Chinese-made-remotes-meant-to-control-the-affairs-of-the-world have you used? Also it's not good manners to suggest you're as good as SG. ;)

    @Alpez: I take that as a compliment. Thanks!

    @deluded: Then, you can rest assure you'll not win that lottery. But if you don't buy a lottery ticket, hurricane Hillary might bring the winning one to you. You know they call it something; windfall, maybe.

    And thanks for blogmarking me. It's blasphemous. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. i want that remote. even i want to contact God

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anju ma'am,

    Your waitinglist number is 6165807485. And that's not a phone number! Don't try it! It's more like the human population on Earth. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. hahha...nice one...
    i dont get the area under the curve part...what was that

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks Ms. Neha Gandhi, and welcome to my blog!

    Incidentally, I've explained the concept of 'area under the curve' in one of my responses to Srishti above.

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nice one. I think getting the first rank is in the hands of SK and to some more extant, his classmates. But what SK doesn't realize is - the fun of getting the last rank, just pass ;-) Maybe God was trying to show it to them in a wise way, but some people just don't listen :-) !!

    Destination Infinity

    ReplyDelete
  20. Destination Infinity,

    Yes, you're right. It's much more fun getting the last rank, especially, if secured effortlessly! ;)

    Also, God was trying to teach Americans what fun it is to be hit by hurricane Hillary. But as you rightly pointed out, some people just don't listen.

    Thanks and welcome to the blog!

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Haha I expected a different moral to the story but well its a very good moral of the story - unfortunately its difficult to find non-China made things around (talk about world domination).

    Anyway very interesting comments too especially the whole explanation of the post.

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Deepali: LOL@ Chinese domination of the world. Look around carefully, and you might find cheap, durable Indian-made imitations of Chinese products, but that would be tad more difficult than finding God. ;)

    Welcome to the blog, and thanks for commenting!

    ReplyDelete
  23. U are Hilarious Man. Lol @ ur inverted display pic. very funny post indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks, Jagjit! Glad, you liked the post and the pic.

    Welcome to the blog!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Destination Infinity: "I think getting the first rank is in the hands of SK and to some more extant, his classmates"

    You sound more like an objectivist here (or that's what I think it is anyway!!)

    Are you sure there are no other influencing factors? We put too much emphasis on the just the single human effort aspect that we become blind sided by it to all other contributing factors.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Achupichu,

    Welcome to the blog, and thanks for commenting!

    I'm not sure what part of Destination Infinity's comment was in a lighter vein, and what meant in earnest, so can't speak for him. That's something for him to clarify.

    If you don't mind my responding to the issue you raise, then, of course, there are factors beyond a typical SK's control--illness, distractions, mood of the examines while assessing SK's answers, the degree to which examines likes SK's handwriting; likewise, same factors would govern other competitors' performance. Individually, all these factors could be determinate, but how much influence they exert when acting in concert, can't be determined accurately enough, and much less, controlled effectively. So yes, there indeed are factors outside of agency of pure human effort. This, I say from personal experience as well as observation.

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ketan,

    Clap clap! Yet another rib ticklingly hilarious post! Keep it comin' mate! [Thick English accent!]

    Cheers,
    Vishwas

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks, Vishwas!

    Glad you liked it. How have you been?

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  29. @Ambi: The major part of the influence to get the first rank is with the student anyway. But there are other factors like genes, interest in the subject, laziness, cricket season (this might work either way), philosophical reasons etc!! :-) But I really can't tell you certainly as I never got the first rank except in UKG!

    @Ketan: That Hurricane Hillary part was very interesting. Do you believe in the theory of randomness - that everything happens in a random way, and we are all here because of pure chance? Just wanted to know your opinion on this.

    Destination Infinity

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hello Destination Infinity!

    Well, speaking of luck, for instance, mood of the examines plays a big role. It can make a difference of more than 5%, and in today's times of competition, that is no small difference!

    Regarding your question, on randomness determining 'everything'--there are two ways of looking at.

    If one wants to predict every prospective event in the Universe, then definitely we will not be able to do it because of certain inviolable laws like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. One of the implications of the law is that position of and energy contained by any particle can never be predicted with complete accuracy. So that way, yes, everything is very random. If you are specifically asking in context of formation of the Earth from stellar dust, and origin of life, yes again, it is an accident. That's easier for me to accept 'cuz I'm an atheist, and I don't think there's an intelligent entity with human-like intention to have specifically effected our existence.

    But if you're speaking of practical gross events like launching of satellites, solar eclipses, etc., then there's indeed an acceptable degree of predictability.

    Do let me know if I've precisely addressed your query.

    Also, you might find discussion on this post (click) on free will interesting.

    Thanks!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I would read the free will part (slightly later) and will comment on that too, as these are my favourite topics :-) But do read one post when you are free: Chaos Theory

    So, if you see there, even chaos seems to have a pattern. Everything in this universe obeys certain laws - right from atomic particles to the heavenly bodies. I for one, cannot assume that all these laws were brought about (or programmed in to them) by some random activity. Having a theoretical God to explain the creation gives us a sense of contentment (only for philosophical reasons, as we don't know the answers to a lot of things) but having Science to explore all these things and still coming to a conclusion that we are not able to find out much, is something that has been bothering me for long. We will continue this discussion in the post you mention about free-will, but I will come back later there.


    Destination Infinity

    ReplyDelete
  32. http://destinationinfinity.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/chaos-theory-is-there-a-pattern-in-randomness/

    That is the link, I am not able to automatically link it, hence copy and paste.

    Destination Infinity

    ReplyDelete
  33. Destination Infinity,

    I access net through my cell phone, so even I cannot copy and paste the link, but I'll try to find your post.

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I'm turning a "Deist God"!! Haha..brilliant! My favourite line!

    ReplyDelete
  35. @Rohith: Officially, welcome to the blog, and apologies for such a delayed response.

    Thanks for your extremely generous comments. Actually, I was taken aback by the generosity of your comments, and was on the verge of responding sarcastically, doubting the sincerity behind them. But am glad and relieved, I did none of that and decided to check out your blog, first. :)

    Sorry for even thinking of doing that and revealing it over here. Hope you didn't mind that.

    Thanks for reading!

    TC.

    @TUIB:

    Thanks! You didn't like the moral of the story?

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  36. LOL :) No well articulated disagreements here Ketan :) I agree with the logic and the moral about Chinese goods ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Why a hiatus?? It's okay to blog infrequently for a while... but to disappear entirely?!! I hope not!

    ReplyDelete
  38. IHM,

    May God bless you with some other remote! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Sorry IHM, just read your second comment. Actually, I'm already spending more time on blog-related activities than I can afford. So, might have to leave blogging 'cold turkey'. It's that addictive. :(

    ReplyDelete
  40. Heck! I thought I commented here about Murphy's Law, Chicken and Eggs. Did I or did I not? Or did I comment on some other post?

    ReplyDelete
  41. No Stupidosaur, I didn't get any such comment from you. You bekaar mein mystified Srishti and me.

    But you can surely leave your eggs and lay your comments here. I'm always receptive. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  42. lolzzz...
    I have been buying only branded products, since ages dude and to be more specific, I buy only Indian products, kachhe se leke baniyan tak, saabun se leke shoes tak :)
    Secondly, BSNL gives you the stuff not we buy it = modem :)
    Lastly, I liked this post and Murphy's Law still rocks :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. This was hilarious. And what was Hilary doing in the East Coast?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hello Insignia!

    Well, it was Hurricane Hillary and not just Hillary. ;) And Hurricane Hillary was doing the same thing on the East coast that Hurricane Katrina had done on the West(?) coast, i.e., wrecking havoc. Basically, the US suffered with Hurricane Hillary, only because SG's Chinese made-remote wasn't working properly, so instead of a tsunami a hurricane was unleashed, and that too hitting the unintended population! ;)

    And this malfunction of SG's remote explains so many of the World's problems that otherwise don't make sense. :)

    Glad, you didn't feel offended and found the story hilarious. Thanks!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  45. LOL!! This is what happens when you use Chinese goods O Lord! :D

    Good post.
    We 'created' god in our image perhaps? Gave him all the powers that we secretly yearned for and to top it all, all over the world God is mainly seen as a male.

    Says it all.:)

    All a figment of our imagination I feel at times. This 'god business' . But then it gives me solace when I need it the most.The thought does.

    ReplyDelete

Well-articulated disagreement would be a very good indicator that I was understood, and would be appreciated more than perfunctory agreement or praise. But of course, you could agree and praise...

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