Friday, July 3, 2009

Review of Jawani Diwani—A youthful joyride

This is a blog I had published elsewhere, and not that I am particularly proud of it, but since it was anyway going to get deleted, so thought why not publish it here:

Review of Jawani DiwaniA youthful joyride



Rating: %#@&


“What’s with the rating?”—You ask. Nothing really. The movie just doesn’t deserve any stars. Of course, you know what those printed characters mean. Right? Actually, the movie could have won an Oscar had it played Shahrukh in it. No, the movie isn’t that good. It’s just that its entertainment-value compares with Paheli’s.



The promos of the movie were really misguiding. And, it’s not the ‘ennahtainment vahl-yu’ that I’m talking of. Our serial kisser-boy, Emraan Hashmi (Mann Kapoor in the movie) was quite restrained with just three kisses in the entire movie (yes, you read it right; no printing error this is), with one being the replay of the other. He’s our average lecherous Indian male with seriously above-average luck. As a struggling singer he saves the life of Radha (Hrishitaa Bhatt) who happens to be the only (and surprisingly lonely) daughter of ‘cassette-king’--Umesh Jumani (played by Tiku Talsania). The instant chemistry that follows is to be seen and not believed, for unlike in this movie, the life of an average-Indian-lecherous-male is not guided by a bad script. By the way, Mann promises to marry her after taking a short trip to Goa.



What follows is a shoddy (excuse the euphemism) mix of lame digs at the likes of Anu Malik (sorry, don't know the in vogue numerologically correct spelling), & of jokes (excuse the exaggeration of calling them that—jokes) that are vulgar & miserably predictable, which makes you cry for the wasted money and time (dear ‘time is money’-types, if you’ve read this this far, you’ve already wasted quite a bit). But, don’t worry there’s something to laugh—the meant-to-be-emotional scenes.



I’m sure there must be a major number of Celina Jaitley *fans*, if you can call them that, who’d have wanted to watch the movie only for her. Alas! There are too many frames in the movie, where you get to see only her face, and believe me, you can’t help but wonder—if the makeup wasn’t up to its job, or if the cameraman did it too well.



Yes, not to forget, there’s one Chappubhai too. The role’s played by Mahesh Manjrekar, who I award full points for reminding us in, between that is, that this was originally supposed to be a COMEDY movie.



It’s in Goa that Celina (Roma Fernandez) falls in love with Mann, who falls in bed with her, upon discovering which Chappubhai forcefully locks them in wedlock (that kind of thing is possible in this kind of movie, indeed).



When it occurred to me, I was thrilled by the ingenious way in which Air Mauritius™ decided to tackle their till-now-successful-tourism-industry-caused-overcrowding-problems simply by advertising itself in the movie. (It’s to Mauritius where Chappubhai sends our literally we(l)d-locked couple to spend their honeymoon).



But, I won’t reveal the S-U-SSSSSS-P-E-N-C-E of this edge-of-the-seat-thriller; it really does make you sit on the edge of your seat, as you decide between running for the closest exit—wasting money in the process, or waiting a bit more, & wasting time, alternatively (Ah! The options offered by life).



Well, the movie has a saving grace, after all—music, what with those Arabic lyrics that nobody understands that nobody anyway cares to understand. No wonder, the title track & ‘Sinine sinine’ have made their respective ways to the countless pirated MP3 discs. Also, the choreographer, I bet, was really experienced. I’ll put my money on experience of no less than THREE DECADES in conducting mass PT-drills!



It would, however, be unfair to say that everything about the movie was bad. It had a nice ending, meaning, with it the movie at least came to an end.



Well my take on the movie? Throw in a bit of skin (male or female doesn’t matter—who’ll anyway be able to differentiate in such confusion and such extreme close ups?), mindless Arabic lyrics, dhinchak-dhinchak rickshaw beats, loads of blue filter (the cinematographic blue; the other kind of *blue* was sadly not there :( )to the scenes at random, step-less robotic dances, and remove any residual story left in the movie, and you still can’t get ‘Jawani Diwani’. It would still need the bad acting of Celina Jaitley, hairy armpits of Emran and a concerted effort of the entire crew to put this youthful joyride firmly on a collision course. Such movies—“Java devani” (Gujarati for: “to let go”).

15 comments:

  1. PT Drills! Do I see a competition for Mr. K Bhagyaraj (a noted Tamil Director and Actor)? I have to watch your movie before I pass any such conclusion. To my knowledge, KB was the best at that.

    I felt really bad at using the term "our" in that serial kisser boy. You included a whole lot of us in that sweeping "word" of "yours". I want no part of it, especially if it has Emraan Hashmi at the end of it.

    Made an interesting read. Had me laughing in my car, while reading that PT Master stuff.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh God, U must have been really really really brave to have ventured in to watch an Emraan Hashmi movie and to have stayed till the end.

    I think a certain bravery award is in order for this review. ;)

    But it was really fun to read thru it..I cudnt help but giggle inspite of myself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sai,

    30 years, afterall, is just a number; Bhagyaraj could be a born genius at that!

    Regarding 'our'--our jingoism dictates that we don't disown *our very own* countrymen. But well, if you still insist, I'll put in brackets--'excluding G. Saimukundhan' after 'our'. Do you? ;)

    Thanks for reading and commenting!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TUIB,

    Brave--well somewhat. But, I had to be really really really helpless to treat myself that way--otherwise I'm not that masochistic all the times.

    Basically, I'd no means to transport to go back to my hostel, and it'd have taken at least 150 rupees to convince some rickshaw-walah to take me back ty my hostel, instead of Rs. I was to otherwise spend going back.

    Bravery awards? I just love them! I have a roomful of them. My friends give me prophylactic bravery awards with a greeting stating 'thank you for not coming', but then, I'm a conscientious person, and if I get a bravery award, I feel obliged to do them justice, and I end at those parties and also showing some inebriated bravery. Afterall, bravery is in my body fluids! ;)

    Despite my review, definitely watch the movie, it'll improve your CMI--cinematically mediated intelligence :p

    Thanks, and TC.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You writing this now??? I had to confirm the date on this post. I didn't know that this DVD still existed... he he

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wonder.
    Why do some filmmakers have an intellectual range of an amoeba?

    Good review, anyway :)
    Keep bloggin'

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Rakesh!

    Actually, this thing was written more than three years back. And the blog where I'd posted it originally is going to get deleted, so thought of publishing it here.

    And of course, just like the polio virus, it has been resolved that only a few copies should remain in this world... only for research purpose. ;)

    Thanks for the comment!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Srishti,

    Welcome to the blog!

    No, these filmmakers have an intellectual level much higher than amoeba's... maybe Paramoecium's ;)

    But seriously, most often they get down to the intelligence level of their patrons. No wonder, many amoebas err people were whistling and hooting at what their imagination would have them believe to be hot scenes.

    Thanks for the comment!

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cool!!
    Had a good laugh.

    I sooo wish to make the film makers and the entire film crew read this particular review. [:P]

    You survived that movie!! Good Job!! I couldn't gather up courage to watch it.

    TC

    ReplyDelete
  10. Chiya,

    Forget reading the review, they don't even watch their own movie!

    If I remember it correctly, some major exam had got over, and there was no other movie to watch.

    I'd thought Mahesh Manjrekar's movie would at least have some good comedy, but that was not to be!

    TC.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hahaha! Gosh this was so funny...I'm glad I gave this movie a miss...doubt they even show it on cable tv anymore - maybe they do show it during the wee hours when only horny desparado's are up watching those "restricted" channels on television...even though its an old review...highly entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Kapila, and welcome to the blog!

    Thanks, but that movie didn't have anything even for horny desperado's. I can vouch for that! ;)

    Yes, watch the movie only if you don't trust my judgement or are paranoid.

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL. I first thought why would one review the old Kapoor film now! I didnt even know of this film but yeah I think that Arabic sounding song I heard long ago on the radio. Good humour!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks puresunshine, and welcome to the blog!

    Yes, I realized there's some 1973 movie by that name, which amusing it is, but I'm unaware of.

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete

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